Friday, 19 October 2012

OCD Examples

A number of years ago I thought I had contracted an incurable disease. I would wait for symptoms to show up and assume that any little physiological issue was as a result of my (imagined) terminal condition. I even spoke to my doctor who told me all was well. I was a healthy individual with nothing to worry about.

My OCD has not been focused on health since then.

Years later at work I noticed that many of my colleagues were leaving between three and five minutes before the end of our shift. This caused me immense worry. If I left even a minute early, then I was not bring honest. I felt I was cheating my employer and would not not be worthy in the eyes.of the Lord.

Since then I have found my OCD has morphed many times. Recently I find leaving work is difficult as I check that electrical appliances are switched off and windows are closed. This is not part of my job but I have thoughts of my workplace catching fire and me being responsible.

These are examples of my illness over the years. It is tormenting. Stress and fatigue make it worse.

I want to write some of my experiences down to help others know that they ate not alone. There ate others experiencing the same issues that they are facing.

As a church member it is easy for me to get locked in unhealthily to messages about worthiness and pure thoughts which can cause some anxiety and OCD patterns. This is not the Church's fault but my faulty interpretation system kicking in. Ultimately it is good to be a Mormon as the Church teaches about Jesus Christ. I firmly believe that He is the healer. That I am still struggling indicates that the timing is not yet right for my healing to be made complete. I have come a long way though and want to keep the blog going to give others a ray of light that they can too.

No comments:

Post a Comment